I have deep compassion for LGBTQ+ men and women, because I have “been there.” I was aware of being “different” from around age 13, and by my early 20s I had decided to live life as an “out” gay male. I dove head-first into the gay community in the city where I lived and explored it all: the nightlife, the culture, the pride marches, the drag shows, and of course the sex.
During that time, I often wondered whether what I was doing was right, whether who I’d become was the person God wanted me to be. But I just couldn’t believe God actually cared who I did what with, or who I became in the process. After all, it was just sex, right? And don’t we live in a more enlightened age than all those prudish ancients?
So… my party went on for almost two decades. God kept His distance, but He never let me forget Him. Then, in the early 2000s, He called me out with a single verse from the prophet Jeremiah:
This is what the Lord says: “Stand at the crossroads and look; ask for the ancient paths, ask where the good way is, and walk in it, and you will find rest…”
—Jeremiah 6: 16
This was not a message I wanted to hear, since I was in a long-term same-sex relationship at the time. I told God, “If you really want me to give him up for you, I’ll do it. But you’ll have to create in me a desire to do so, because right now… I don’t want to.” It took some time, but God eventually convinced me that He had a better plan for me, a better me for me. I chose God, and left the same-sex relationship.
I was immediately alone. Nobody really understood what God had called me to do. I prayed and leaned on God. He revealed His saving power to me through Jesus Christ in unexpected ways. God didn’t just call me out of gay culture and gay sex. He called me to the safety of His love, mercy, protection, and grace. Soon enough, He led me into community with others walking the same path—and it’s a path that is far from lonely!
Since that day many years ago, I’ve learned that my identity in Christ—in Christ alone—is worth infinitely more than everything I gave up. Jesus declared:
Remain in me, as I also remain in you. No branch can bear fruit by itself; it must remain in the vine. Neither can you bear fruit unless you remain in me.
—John 15: 4
I’m not “cured” from SSA, but God’s power is made perfect in my weakness (2 Corinthians 12:9). Furthermore, God has used my struggle and my heart for Him to draw me closer and to make me stronger. I can only agree with the psalmist when he proclaims:
Taste and see that the Lord is good; blessed is the one who takes refuge in him.
—Psalm 34: 8
Perhaps some part of my story resonates with you. Maybe you’re gay or lesbian or bisexual or non-binary or transgender and you feel you’ve lost God in the shuffle of living your own life, or of being your own person. It could be you were once Christian and knew the peace of Christ’s presence but left the faith because you were unable to reconcile your sexual attractions with teachings or attitudes or people. Perhaps you’ve been wanting to make a safe return to Christ but don’t know how or where to begin, or if you should bother. If so, I hope you’ll reach out today.
Rick E.
Nashville, TN
For Freedom 